The Invictus

Ashi, expect such english usage in Japan!!!:-)
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Reasons why English teachers die young: Actual(!) Analogies and Metaphors found in High School Essays
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#1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
#2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
#3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
#4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
#5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
#6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
#7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
#8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
#9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
#10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
#11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
#12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
#13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
#14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
#15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
#16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
#17. He fell for her like his heart wa s a mob informant and she was the East River.
#18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
#19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
#20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
#21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
#22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
#23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
#24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
#25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
#26. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
#27. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
#28. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

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