The Invictus

Have not posted for more than 15 days now...have not even gone thru my daily reads...whats happening?
Apologies first....Been around, yet not been around...no enthu to post anything new...had more than ample subjects to write about, but just couldn't motivate myself to put it down on post. Simple.

In a silly (futile?)attempt at capturing all that that transpired in these 2 boring weeks, here are some not-so-good nuggets:

1. Sometime in these 2 weeks, I went and saw "Lakshya" in a non-descript, decrepit theatre in Thane...Came away with a not-so-good feeling about the movie..Don't know how much of it was to be blamed on the Theatre itself, and how much on the movie. Thought it was a tad too slow for my liking, with a mess of characterisation. Anyways, enough said about the movie.

2. Went to one of the Tata Motors showrooms planning to check out, and maybe buy, Indigo. As luck would have it, the one available sales person to show us around happened to be a girl. Now, why, oh-so-why, do they have women in automobile showrooms (no offense, no sexist remark here...plain honest truth)..Its the Mars and Venus thing you know...Apparently they dont have Automobiles in Venus..

Now coming back to this woman in the showroom, I asked her if I could take a test drive..And I get this amazing answer "sir, anyway you are planning to buy the Petrol version sir, Petrol car is anyways verrry smooooth...Why do you need a test drive, you can buy it 'no'"!!!!!
Waah!! That did it, she just "unsold" the car to me..Wanted to shout at her and ask her how many times she goes to the trial room to try out the fit everytime she has to buy a Rs.300 shirt/top/pant/whatever....

After successfully un-selling the car to me, she proceeded to explain the finance option to me..Damn! I didnt even ask her for that!! I wonder what these Automobile showrooms are selling these days - the Autombile or the "EMI"...They seem to spend more time talking about the finance scheme / EMI, than about the main product itself!!!

3. Oh shit, I forgot point 3..I swear on you, I had a point 3 (and even 4 & 5)..but this stupid car saleswoman made me forget...so much for the car!

So see you...soon I hope!

Before I subject you to the subject topic, allow me the devious pleasure of deviating to apologise for being inactive on this blog for the last week or so...been caught up with work up to my thinning pate....

Ok, with that being said and done with, lets come to the one issue that seems to happen - always - with me, making my "relationship" with movies and movie theatres so much more strong:-)

The guy sitting next to me in the movie hall.

I have had - by some cosmic supernatural design or plain default - to endure some amazingly, err lets just call "entertaining" people sitting next to me in almost every movie that I go to...And this phenomenon is spread across cities / theatres / movies...

1. Movie: Chalte Chalte; Location: Bangalore

The guy sitting next to me was a typical "tapori" reformed into ala Shah Rukh...With a bandanna - a very colorful one at that - firmly in place on the head that wasn't, this guy insisted that he not only got to sing all the songs that Shah Rukh sang in the movie, but also the ones that Rani Mukherjee sang for Shah Rukh!!!

2. Movie: Hum Tum; Location: Mulund

There were 2 middle-aged guys sitting next to me...and the guy actually sitting next to me was so excited everytime the cartoon "Hum Tum" characters came along, that I actually felt pity for his friend..Not only did this guy make it clear in no uncertain terms how much he loved the movie / movie stars / cartoons / songs etc, he insisted that his friend "MUST" like the movie/movie stars/cartoons/songs etc, as much as he himself did!!!!!

3. Movie: Dev; Location: Thane

The guy sitting next to me - didnt have a bandanna, no - seemed quite decent and all that...atleast decent enuff to give me the impression that this movie would be a different..but alas, it wasn't to be...once the lights went off, and the dialogues started flowing in "The" Bachchan's classy baritone, this guy could not be restrained...He started to sort of jump all over, shake his head, move to the edge of the seat, cross uncross his legs and all that....(Disclaimer: all this at a safe physical distance from me)...At one point in the movie, after a particularly powerful dialogue from AB, this guy actually removed the cap from his head...talk of being moved, this guy was really moving, u know what i mean!

I guess thats the fun of actually paying up and going to the movies!:-)

Have decided that all posts that don't seem to have any idea or sense behind them - or I can't think of one - shall henceforth be classified as "Random note #xxx"...and no, "xxx" stands for numerals (*chee dirty minds*)..So thats the introduction to this meaningless rambling...

Im having some trouble with my throat for the last 2 days...no, nobody's been at it, though i suppose some would give their left leg to do that (obviously they can't give their left/right arm...they would need both to strangle a roughneck like me)...
So as I was saying, I have this terrible feeling that Im coming down with a viral fever or something...so far its only been the something part...feels as if there's a gillette mach 3 razor stuck between my throat, and *ouch* hurt it does..(all ye ladies who havent had the use of gillette mach 3, rest assured that it REALLY can hurt)...So am carry myself through meetings, presentations and wot not with this ache..unless my hearing also has been affected (which I dont suppose), i must be sounding like Mukesh singing one of those very very "dard bhari geet" on Binaca geet mala on AIR...

Incidentally, my boss also is on leave today. Seems he's not well too. Sore throat or something. Of course, its pure coincidence.

On the blog front, my blog seems to be becoming like an "over-the-hill-and-then-another" bollywood heroine..bereft of ideas to write on, or roles to talk about, "The Invictus" is resorting to rambling on and on...anything to get the crowd in...

Happened to read in today's Sleaze times of India that there was some sorta blogger's meet in Colaba on Sunday...peered hard enough at the fotu to see if there was anyone I could make out...Of course, no one....

Finally, am currently reading "The Da Vinci Code"..and man, what a thriller!! Can't make out where fact stops and fiction begins...am having a sorta subtle fight with my wife on who gets to read it first..If she sneaked it off to office yesterday, I have managed to do the same today...

Ok, now if you are reading this now, then you must be as jobless as I am...So why dont you do what I am about to do? Go home, instead of reading stranger's blogs.:-)

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade
Your heros for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

This one was narrated to me by my wife (DC) during her update to me on the happenings...

In my absence from India, DC had moved into her parents' house in Mumbai. Now any Mumbai-ite will tell you how it is to live in Mumbai's apartment blocks. Neighbours take the term "Co-operative housing Society" to its literal nadir, esp. if you have stayed in that society for long years! Here's some proof:

1. Seeing that DC has "come back" to her "maaike", one old-couple-neighbours promptly assumed that our family was either "enlarging" (which i assure you it isnt...not at the moment atleast) or , worse, disintegrating (which i assure you it isnt..now or ever). So as good neighbours, they strut their good selves - part curious at the first possibility, & part indignant at the latter - and demand to know what is happening in the society.

Of course, they were completely disappointed to know that the reason was simpler than they thought, and there was really no masala in the story:-)

2. Again recently, DC's folks decided to paint their house after many years.
And that was enough reason for yet another friendly neighbourhood old-couple to assume that DC's younger sister R (who is currently based in UK) was getting engaged! So, out they come enquiring about the "Boy"..whether he's from India or UK, whether err..."We chose the boy, or R herself did the chosing" and such questions!

Whoever wrote of loving thy neighbours, didnt have "Co-operative housing Societies" in mind, I'm sure!

One of the most eventful jouneys AC has ever undertaken - flight back home!

1. Uncharacteristical of AC, he ended up tagging along excess baggage...oh no, not "a few dolla...err kilos more"...all of 22.3 Kgs in excess!! So AC decides that only his non-existent charm can see him through this very existential problem..He chooses - of all the check-in counters available to him - one that's "manned" by a woman. A glorious PYT. An amazing looking bimbo. A dose of sentimental story-telling, and then some more convincing ensures that AC walks off with a paltry baggage fee:-)

2. Luck being what it is, AC couldn't get into business class, and had to travel economy...Anybody who travels economy will tell you that the best part of the journey will be the co-passenger. He / she will also tell you that the worst part of the journey also will be the co-passenger. I suppose, it was the latter in AC's case.

A Mallu with a fake Brit-Aussie-Yankee accent decides to be all three at the same time..Rest is amazing irritation.

3. Immigration queue in Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport (why can't somebody just name it as Bombay airport...atleast Mumbai airport?)...In front of AC is a guy in a suit, chatting to the guy behind AC, also in suit. Suit#1 says "oh so frustatedly" that India can never shine with this kinda infrastructure...Suit#2 follows suit and agrees, and shares with the rest of the queue how much he misses the "infrastructure" in Malaysia...Suit#1 talks of how he is so tired after nearly 2 months of world travel...

AC - wideeyed more out of irritation than wonder - checks these 2 "pseudo suits"...Suit#1 has only one book of passport (obviously he couldn't have been to half the places he mentioned..right from japan to jhumritalaiya to "JFK")..AC looks around and sees that suit#2 is no different.

AC decides to show-off his passport and thence, silence the 2 pardesi babus..

All's well that ends. Period.

PS: As promised, have got some Toblerones for the MBM on 5th June!:-)