The Invictus

I'm just about coming out of a blogger's block. Or so I would love to convince myself..Note here that I don't call it writer's block. That one is for people who write write. Not for semantically challenged or symbolically-handicapped people like me. (Side note: There is one other block I just came out of recently: 9th Block. But thats a different kinda block - the kind you reside in, and the kind you write in a different post).

Some time back, I wrote about my "missile man days" in an earlier post. Since it didnt seem to attract too many negative responses (hmmmpphh, it didnt attract any response, Positive or Negative, but on Monday's I chose to ignore such facts), I am emboldened enough to write about yet another of my...errr, exploits..Its not too much of a brainer to suppose that this incident too happened during my engineering days..

One fine year, on a not-so-fine day, our college principal decided to fine us by closing down the college canteen. It was a shocker for most of us who were suddenly faced with the prospect of going back home after classes. I suppose though it was a bigger shock to the bravehearts who were more used to giving their exams in the canteen, sipping a "chai" and discussing the page number / paragraph no. where the answer was available in the text book. But then these were stronger souls who had survived many such minor irritants, and could survive this too. And they did. They shifted their examination hall to the restaurant just outside the college gates.

And caught in this muddle were us! Where were we to go after class hours? actually, where were we to go during class hours? surely not to the class rooms!*horror* Damn, something had to be done.

Something desperate for desperate times.

I had a friend called M.

Characterisation: M had a figure most women would die for (actually kill for)..a petite, svelte figure that boasted not a single extra ounce of lard. At 32-26-32, M was as thin as a reed...A male reed, that is.

Story continued: M was a real sport, and we made sure we told him about it. We would praise him about his "Ultra slim athletic" figure that was the envy of many girls (including the one he fancied), and in turn buy his loyalty (Kameena tha main!)..So it was M then, that we turned to for help during "slender" times like this.

A cuppa free chai, a full Gold Flake King (imagine being treated with a full king-size cigarette during college days, trust me, it's BIG), and some counselling on what we planned to do - with his help of course - finally managed to win his consent and lead support to the devious plan we had.

This is what happened that hot summer day....

13:00 M "collapses" on the football ground. As true friends, we naturally rush him to a friendly-neighborhood hospital, where he is "admitted".

13:30 A group of students raid the principal's chambers to inform him of the great misfortune. And just so that he does not fail to see the link, I clearly tell him that M collapsed because he was hungry. And under-nourished. And in the hot sun. Empty stomach. No Canteen. In hospital. On drips.

14:30 Principal rushes to the hospital with fruits - Mangoes, Bananas, and some more. He is concerned about M's "condition"..M, of course, getting a chance to play the hero for once, plays out the tragic scene so well that even Dilip Kumar would have been proud of..

"Sir, I..I come from far away sir..and and because I attend ALL the early morning classes, I leave home so early...I don't have breakfast...I also come from a poor family sirr.....no money for hotel...what to do sir...ooooohhhh, aaiyyooo ammmmaaaa", M makes us proud with.

The principal is clearly concerned now. He promises to do something. He wishes M well, offers the fruits (which as M's attendant, I take), and leaves.

Of course, I could not afford to give those fruits to M, and risk spoiling the drama. I believed in the "Real" thing even then. Which meant that I got to eat all the freebies. While M starved - Really starved!

17:00 The canteen was back in action, faster than you could say "one-by-two chai".

And as they say, "All's well that ends well".

PS: Just for good measure, I kept M in the hospital till 10PM in the night. And had more fruits for evening snacks too...